The relationship after cheating has occurred is not a cozy place to be. Can it go on? Will it survive? Do you want it to continue? Obviously, each party in the relationship will have their own ideas about what to do and what not to do.
If you are the person who cheated, you, of course, will get the brunt of the blame (even if there are other factors that lead to you cheating). If you made a mistake but you do want the relationship to continue, you pretty much need to do what your partner asks of you. So, if he or she wants some space, you need to allow that.
If he or she wants to keep tabs on you every second of the day, you also need to be patient with this. After all, you have destroyed the trust that once existed, and you need to do what it takes to get it back. Over time, his or her trust will hopefully be restored, and the fear and scrutiny will diminish. If you cannot do what this person is asking of you, you then need to consider letting the relationship go.
If you are the person who was cheated on, you also need to decide what you want to do. It’s easy to blame your partner, if he or she has made a big mistake. But often, cheating doesn’t occur when a relationship is solid and strong. It happens when something is missing.
This does not condone the actions of the cheating person, but it does mean that you need to take a look at what was going wrong. If your partner is now at your mercy, having apologized and saying that he or she still loves you and will do what it takes to restore your relationship after cheating, you can take this for granted for a while. You can make him or her make certain promises, or subject him or her to certain rules, but this will not solve the problem.
Eventually, you need to discuss what happened, why it happened, and what both of you need in order to patch your partnership. Counseling is another good option. Remember that this may take a long time to heal, and that you will probably never again be in the place that you were before te cheating. But some couples m
anage to plough through this tough time and become even stronger than they were previously.
Once you have resolved some of your issues, remember that you need to continue to communicate with each other, so that if problems come up again, you can catch them early. Relationships are ever-evolving; as the individuals within the partnership change, so does it. You don’t want to wake up one morning to realize that you are both completely different people who don’t know each other anymore.
Communication is the key to maintaining a successful relationship after cheating.
