The signs of cheating can vary for each individual. Some people are just plain better at deception than others. If you have a suspicion that your spouse may be secretly hiding an affair with another individual whatever you do do not confront your mate. Confronting your spouse can possibly make the affair harder to prove because they will go to even greater lengths to hide what is really going on. Instead, go over the list of signs and if your significant other is showing or has shown more than a few of these it may be a good idea to hire a professional to get you solid evidence.
A few very common signs of a cheating spouse include:
- A change in sex life: The cheater wants nothing to do with sex, wants a lot more sex, or has unexplained sexual requests or utilizes new sexual techniques.
- A sudden change in appearance: He/She is working out all of a sudden; their taste in clothing has changed, change in cologne.
- The cheater has a definite attitude change towards everyone in the household especially the mate, picking fights for no reason.
- Unexplained absences, working late, hang up phone calls.
- The cheater may begin to find fault in his/her spouse to try to justify the affair.
- Unrecognized and frequently called phone numbers on your mates cell phone bill.
- Leaving home during an argument, many cheaters will provoke a fight so they can leave the home to call or visit the other person.
- Taking business or leisure trips alone
- Having new friends.
- Taking showers as soon as returning home.
- Will do the laundry when they never used to, or at a time when they normally would not. They may be trying to hide the signs of smoke, lipstick, bodily fluids, etc.
- Smelling of perfume or alcohol.
- The Mileage on his/her vehicle seems excessive.
- Their use of the computer or internet is excessive or secretive.
- A gut feeling (intuition is real)
If you are familiar with one or more of these signs, you may have a problem on your hands.
Common advice I give clients that are suspicious of their spouse is to keep a journal of their spouse’s activities for two weeks. This will help establish a pattern and make it easier for an investigator to prove or disprove infidelity. It is not easy to admit that your spouse may be having an affair. Infidelity does not discriminate. It can affect anyone of any race, color, or creed. It does not matter if you are rich or poor, where you live, or your age. Infidelity can exist in your home, and you can be its victim. Cheaters cheat for several different reasons but it is very important to remember if your spouse is indeed having an affair that it is NOT your fault. It is extremely common for the infidel to try to place the blame on you. Saying things like “I wouldn’t have done it if”.. or “You refuse to do this, so”…
Attempts to shift the blame is nothing but the persons guilt spontaneously combusting during a stressful situation. Life is about choices and it was not your choice for your mate to cheat, it was theirs.
If you want proof, it is highly recommended that you do hire a professional. What you plan on doing with any evidence that you obtain is your choice. Whether it is seeking counseling or a matrimonial attorney, nobody can tell you what choice is the best.